09-08-2020 10:41 PM
09-08-2020 10:41 PM
Hi I'm new to this website, so sorry if i send the wrong messages, but I'm just curious to know if people are similar to me, you see i have a habit of resorting to stupid things as a solution to my problem for example whenever i go out with my friends and answer a response to a quetions lets say "The funny thing is i can get high without taking anything" and this guy isn't really a friend by the way, anyways i get angry cause i could've answered that question better and in return get repercussions and i know what you are thinking i am a perfectionist right? well you're correct, but this isn't the whole point, continuing now i try forgeting about it, but then my habit kicks in ahd i start cursing myself saying things like "I hate my life" and want to die. Here is the suprising thing this doesnt happen to me once a day it happens to me every single second when i am not distracted and it doesnt have to be friends it could be other things like mostly friends, so imagine what you would be feeling if you were me right now, i would best describe it as a nice golden brown toast enough to function and enough to make you mad. Well that's my story, I'm bipolar and suffering Peace!
09-08-2020 11:03 PM
09-08-2020 11:03 PM
10-08-2020 03:49 AM
10-08-2020 03:49 AM
@Shayan Hey Shayan and welcome. Are you on medication? Maybe you need your medication slightly tweaked? when I am a little bit manic I tend to say things that I live to regret. Anyway dont worry too much about it everyone says things that they regret later and if they dont maybe they are not reflective enough. Take good care of yourself and remember dont worry so much. Love greenpeax
10-08-2020 04:09 AM - edited 10-08-2020 04:27 AM
10-08-2020 04:09 AM - edited 10-08-2020 04:27 AM
@greenpea yes I'm taking 3 different medications and Yeah you're right they do need to tweak my medications, I've already tried two different ones, their planning to give me a third one, and these are anti depressants by the way, but if you ask me about them I would say it's hard to give since I usually can get high with an average dose, so they need to be more careful, which is the problem, so if I were to treat myself I would give anxiety medication and not anti depressants unfortunately I'm not a doctor so I don't really have a say in what happens, but yeah I just hope one day I finally have something effective and doesn't take 1 month to take effect: thanks for you're reply and hope to talk to you again. Shayan
10-08-2020 05:44 AM
10-08-2020 05:44 AM
@Shayan 3 anti depressants for bipolar is alot :o! I agree with you maybe a mood stabilzer ( I am one one and it really helps btw) would be a better idea. Can you bring that up at your next appointment?
10-08-2020 11:35 AM
10-08-2020 11:35 AM
@greenpea Sorry for the confusion when I said 3 medications, I was saying mood stabilisers, anti psychotics and then an anti depressant and I've tried 2 anti depressants and they don't seem to work so their giving me a new one maybe their still thinking about it, but yeah I'll have an appointment soon, but waiting is a pain, espically when you have to wait when the meds kick in, so to be honest I don't really like how we're limited in what medications you could get, I think maybe an option for me is experimental drugs, but not many doctors know about them, but I found one that does, so yeah hopefully everything works out
10-08-2020 01:50 PM
10-08-2020 01:50 PM
@Shayan I am being taken off an anti psychotic due to body tremors .... psychiatrist is going to be watching carefully to make sure I dont have any breakthrough psychosis and mania. I hate that one as it puts on weight anyway. Thanks for heads up on experimental meds had not even thought of that. I will ask myself although my psychiatrist is very conservative lol. Good luck and let me know how it goes for you. peax
10-08-2020 11:17 PM
10-08-2020 11:17 PM
you are not alone ❤️
11-08-2020 12:03 AM
11-08-2020 12:03 AM
@greenpea I wouldn't recommend experimental drugs as an option unless you've done enough research and think it's safe and if you ask your doctor about it it's most likely gonna be no because they just follow the rules they've been taught, so my advice is find a drug that you really think may help and then find a doctor who would know about it in my case I found out about cbd, but I'm not gonna go to much in detail about that selection you could google search it, but it's a schedule 4 drug and doctors prescribe it and soon or later it might be legal, it can act as an anti psychotic, but it's in its early infant stages and needs more research, but I mainly want it for anxiety and sleep. By the way I know mania is like the worst thing that could happen im not sure what counts as psychosis but I know when I had mania my perception of reality was twisted and now I have to rebuild the way I think also this mental health thing was completely new to me, so I had to then accept my condition and learn ways to control by observation, so yeah mania ruined my life and required a lot of work ( I wouldn't say ruined my life that's a bit exaggerated but did ruin my life lol ) Anyways hope everything goes well and you don't have any side effects.with you're medications
11-08-2020 12:08 AM
11-08-2020 12:08 AM
@kw1 it's nice to know I'm not alone, thanks for the support.
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