@greenpea My life is definetly a ride first it's mania then it's depression then mania again and it just continues like that kinda like a cycle, but hopefully with right meds from the doctor I should be fine oh and something worth mentioning is ablify which is an anti Psychotic so far it's worked for me though the side effects are for a short period which are the things you enjoy aren't joyful which is ok I guess and yeah voices are a main theme I get asked that a lot I had different hallucinations I remember I was talking to the tv once and you wouldnt imagine the context it was in and then I thought my parents weren't my parents I thought I was being tricked, so yeah that's a taste of what I went through if there's one thing in common it's the stupid things we do, but maybe in your case you're environment played a role, but that's just my hypothesis I can't see exactly what it would be like to be in you're shoes, but I can only imagine, but environment is proabably a no brainer really