Hi, just needing to have a little vent. I have been to many psychologists in the past and some are fine, many barely adequate . Generally I stop seeing the good ones because I can't afford to see them but now a days I have a lovely partner who said he would pay for it, so I thought I would give it another go as I am really really struggling to get through and manage as a normal person most days. i won't go into my compex ptsd, but just know that i get triggered most days, some greater some lesser, and I need someone to talk to. My partner is lovely but is no good at listening...and he is aware of that...it's just his upbeat personality which I def don't hold against him. He is terrific. So, I book in and after going through my situation and mention I've tried most things, the guy brings up mindfulness. God...yes I have tried that...he said yeah, but have you tried this...and he talks through a mindfulness exercise as if he has imparted something very special and right. I said I'll have a think, which he was a little offended by...I mean, why would I need to think about it...I just said, well I've tried it and it sounds good but in the real world situations I can't seem to get it to work for me. He just didn't want to hear it, and repeated and then said, times up, I'll see u in 2 weeks. So I just did my usual. Thankyou, that's helpful....but the whole visit has brought me down...I had to revisit my issues/ stress occurance... I have uni assignments and work and I had to cancel work...just couldn't go and be motivational and creative (I am a PT)...
Sorry...I have rambled and clearly he is not a good fit, but it is so exhausting going through everything and to come out on a low (which is inevitable...i get that)...but I went because I am struggling to get through everyday...and to be told, yep see u in 2 weeks...well...I just don't know how i can make it to that...not that I will see him again....it's put me off therapy. I almost wish I was suicidal again as it gives me an out...and I don't have that anymore...so I have nothing but a lump of sadness and heartache pulling me down into the earth...so heavy...
sorry...its a first world problem...i used to have to worry about money for a roof and food, but not anymore, so I am very lucky...and I have my physical health. I just want the world to stop for a while...wish I was lucky enough to be in quarrentine ...haha!
Anyway. Thank you for reading. This is more of a whinge about therapists that are unhelpful. Take care 🙂