Hey @Catiepiller sorry that this has happened. Can’t imagine having to hear my abusers name so much. Don’t really have any answers for you other than agreeing with what @NatureLover has said in that healing may make it easier.
I said one of my abusers names out loud for the first time in many many years this week and then had my psychologist say it too. It was both hard to say and hear, thankfully it’s not a modern name and not used much.
Again I’m sorry that you are faced with this and will have to hear it so much 😞