Hi @tiger
I'm called Hobbit and I would just like to welcome you to the forums as well!!
It sounds like you are going through a pretty tough time there. It's good you have come onto these forums as there are some really wonderful people on here that can offer you some real help and support.
In the meantime, have a look at this thread about relationships. You might find something helpful there, and can start to get an insight into your own siuation.
What I can say is this - you have friends here. keep posting!!
Hobbit.