Hi there,
I was diagnosed with BPD at age 19. (im now 33)
I was in consistent treatment until 2013. Due to having been living rurally, treatment has lapsed, and as a result trauma that has occured my symptoms have gotten really bad.
I have been having NSSI episodes - in the past they were few and far between. Lately it has become more frequent. The Ideation has gotten really bad. I have many nights where i barely sleep because I am thinking about it.
My confidence has gone, I was always a unique arty person with a strong sense of self and now I dont know who I am.
I have only recently gotten my priv health insurance happening again, kind of preparing myself to go to a priv hosp for a few weeks. I feel like I am in a tailspin. Overwhelmed and very reactive. Really worried that Im not enough to get through this.
I have an appt in May with a new Dr but up until then im on my own. I have no friends or family, very isolated.