Life can be a Pain

[Owlunar2]

Hi @Shaz51 

It's good to see you - I do read in here from time to time - now I find it hard to relate to people's really genuine issues - whether that's because I have moved on to the next stage of my life or just because this stage has had its own adventures - I don't know - 

I've been challenged - mostly I enjoy my life - my dental surgery took a lot out of me - it was worth it - the whole process took months - nearly a year when my nutrition failed because I couldn't chew. I saw a nutritionist - she helped me out.

Things fell apart between me and my daughter - aw - her spinal fusion failed and she has other health issues - normally her criticism of my choice to have dental implants would not have bothered me - I was too vulnerable though - hopefully she is getting over herself now.

We are very different people - I research everything so I even knew and understood the gases I had for the operation - my daughter wouldn't want to know and that's okay - that's her choice - maybe she's learning something I know nothing about now - or - I already know everything about - 

It's okay - my shoulder is still a major problem - I have support workers through My Aged Care - the research I did on that paid off - for me - the more I know the better I cope.

I am pretty sure things are still tough with Mr Shaz - and I am pretty sure you haven't had your kidney transplant - though you might have. I know your dear old Mum died a good while back and that must have been a tough time for you.

I think of my dear friend - how you are such a battler now in your 60s - which seems very young to me now

Take care of yourself - there is no need to put yourself last - you are worth a great deal more than that.

All my love

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

I still live in a garden of unique ideas

I still live in a garden of unique ideas

[Oaktree]

@Owlunar2 

Hi Mamabear,

You sound well. I am glad to hear that everything went well with your teeth. I am glad that you had some help with your nutrition. That is so important in later years. 

Our Shazzy is such a lovely and caring sort. I have a feeling that she often puts herself last. I wish that she would take better care of herself. She has some health battles to cope with. She takes such good care of her husband and is a terrific example of a loving wife. I am glad that you are here for her.

Anyway I have missed chatting to you. I hope that you continue to be well. Hope to see you soon

[Shaz51]

Hello mammabear @Owlunar2 and @Oaktree 😊

Soo lovely to see 👀 you 🥰 

And yes no kidney transplant yet and mum passed away in April,  it seems like yesterday 

So glad to hear things are working out for you , teeth and nutrition 

@Zoe7 , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Owlunar2]

Thanks @Oaktree 

I hope to keep in touch more - I had a rough year - I badly burned my arm, dental surgery, storm damage, a dead possum in my wall - other stuff - and my daughter's health problems and her behaviour - which is understandable - affected me a great deal. It seems to be sorting out now.

Shaz is a wonderful person - one of the best - and she never forgets birthdays - in spite of all her issues with her husband she keeps on keeping on - her patience seems endless though I am sure it has to be tough yards

I hope to keep in touch - perhaps I just had too much on my mind and I am not good about sharing - when I see something from another bereaved parent though I do have to say something because I have been through all of that and I know how hard and heart-breaking it is. I have recovered from my son's troubled life and tragic death - I still have my moments but it's okay now.

Thanks for your post - I appreciate it

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

[Shaz51]

Ohh my Mamabear @Owlunar2 , you have had a big year and it is very understandable that you don't feel like sharing but that is OK xx 

We are here for you ❤️ 

@Oaktree 

[Owlunar2]

Hi @Shaz51 

And thanks - I can talk about things after they have happened - and the dead possum is a funny story now - but my daughter - yeah - I think that was the tough part.

I let her know that my feelings had been hurt but refused to tell her what she had said - knowing her this would have led to more dissension - as it was - after criticizing me for months she withdrew for months - there are times when her grumps are something I let her sulk about knowing it bothers no one but her - but when I was most unwell and not telling her much at all it became too much. I do have a good psychologist though and worked though it - my daughter and I are texting now at least.

I talked with this psychologist for months before I opened up to her about my son - there are things I never tell anyone - I did tell her some things - and once said I realised they meant very little now - we can only accept the past - there is no need to feel guilt especially when we have no control over what happened - like the choices we had to make. So I have let that go - and I do feel better about it all even though I came to terms with it in the past - it's easier now

So last year is all over now and life keeps going on - as it must 

I am so sorry you are still waiting for a kidney transplant - that is really tough for you - waiting for so long with so little kidney function. Do you have a rare tissue type or something? I have been an organ donor for years - I guess I'm too old now but I still have the card with me all the time. I wish you the best with that.

All the best my sweet and thoughtful friend - you are worth your weight in gold

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

[tyme]

@Owlunar2 ,

How have you been? I've really missed you and hope you are okay. I haven't read all your posts yet so I'm not sure how things have been going for you.

I just want to say that I'm so glad to see you.

[Owlunar2]

Thanks @tyme 

I am okay now  - I think better than I have been in my whole life  - I still have chronic pain - I cope with it feeling some other disabilities are worse and glad I've got this one - I see other people at the pain clinic  - oh wow - my left shoulder is disabled with osteoarthritis but I am walking well still 

I have shared some things  - I relate to people with pain and grief  - my GP is retiring and my new doctor wrote my diagnosis on my mental health plan as PTSD which is more appropriate than anxiety and depression - I know I have PTSD and that's okay 

I didn't know if I could offer any one any thing but a bereaved mother I totally have everything for  - that's a gift

Thanks again 

Owlunar 

[tyme]

I really just want to say, Here's a BIG HUG for you. @Owlunar2 

[Owlunar2]

Thanks @tyme 

😊