Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Maree79]

Hi 

My father in law has been in the MHW for older persons for 2 weeks now. It's not a nice environment and he hates it so much but his wife can't handle him at home. He is on meds for anxiety and panic and is not eating as he feels so unwell both physically and emotionally. He's constantly asking for more meds and is quite forgetful and talks of corruption and stuff going on in the ward that we can't see.

So... What are some other options for him? Would a nursing home take him? He's 79.

[PizzaMondo]

Hi @Maree79 🙂

It sounds like your father in law has been going through a lot lately... I can imagine the shift in environment comes with its own set of challenges also. I am sorry to hear that he has been feling so unwell while in the MHW.

I am wondering if there is an opportunity to speak with his doctor in there? Or perhaps if they could advise what is the best course of treatment?

While this is only curiosity, I wonder whether maybe the MHW may be beneficial to bettering his wellbeing, especially to manage his anxiety and panic. It is not an easy road but I hope that the people who are caring for him can answer some of your questions too, do you think it would be something possible?

Warmest,
PizzaMondo 🙂

[Maree79]

Thanks for the reply @PizzaMondo 

As the DIL I don't really feel it my place to talk to the dr. It's just hard as there seems to be so much going on. He claims his wife abuses him, mainly verbally and manipulation and she claims he has separation anxiety. Both struggle. It's just so awful in the ward as people are screaming and he's like a prisoner.

The dr's are working on his meds. I just don't know how much they are helping outside of meds.

It's a complicated family with a remarriage so children of the father and one of the father and wife. 

When I visit he just begs me to get him out.

[PizzaMondo]

Not a worry @Maree79 , hope to be supportive in the best way I can be!

I can understand your place and why it might not feel right to do that, I wonder if your FIL's children are able to retrieve that kind of information, your partner perhaps? Definitely sounds like struggles on both ends, and I can imagine the screaming is even more anxiety inducing, especially if he is unable to leave on his own accord.

I am not very clear on how these processes work when someone enters a MHW as it can look different for each individual, as well as depending on the clinic or service, but I hope he is getting some professional 1on1 support in there from a psychologist or psychiatrist. It would be great for him to air his thoughts and concerns there to receive the right care.

How often do you visit your FIL? Do you go on your own?

Below I am tagging a few of my fellow peers incase they have any experience or resources that could be helpful for you here
@tyme @Jynx @RiverSeal

[Ainjoule]

Some areas have PARC (Prevent and Recovery Centre) units. These are generally short stay units (28 days) and they can be used in a step down (getting out of hospital) capacity (as well as 'step up' - coming from the community). They are generally partnerships been an NGO (non-government organisation) and your states Health Department. Unfortunately not all areas have one, but it's worth asking the question. 

[Jynx]

That's a great idea @Ainjoule I've heard good things about PARCs!

Also, just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, and it will show up in blue, like this: @Maree79 

[Maree79]

Thanks @Ainjoule but it looks like parcs isn't in our area. I'll keep looking.