06-05-2020 05:24 PM
06-05-2020 05:24 PM
not sure if i'm puttting this post in the right section
but have just been wondering if others experience a relutance or distrust of "good days"
not wanting to talk about with treatment team for a fear of them thinking - yeah cool shes fixed?
it's something that i continue to struggle with. have spoken to team about it and they assure me that i can keep seeing them for as long as i want - but in prepping for my appts (i'm a big list writter) i always feel the need to balance the good with the bad.....
anyone else experience something similar?
06-05-2020 06:00 PM
06-05-2020 06:00 PM
Hi @HopefulWarrior , for a large part of my life I've been scared about the good days. But it wasn't because my treatment team might think I'm fixed, as I reckon they realise that people go up and down. It was more that I felt I wasn't allowed to be happy, due to an emotionally abusive childhood.
It has taken many years to start trusting that I was allowed to have good and happy days and that I wasn't going to be punished for having them. That fear of punishment is still inside me, but it has less effect as the years go on thankfully.
I think it's fine to balance the good with the bad when preparing notes for your treatment team. They probably wouldn't expect it all to be good anyway, for anyone, even themselves.
06-05-2020 06:27 PM
06-05-2020 06:27 PM
06-05-2020 06:41 PM
06-05-2020 06:41 PM
06-05-2020 06:45 PM
06-05-2020 06:45 PM
06-05-2020 06:55 PM
06-05-2020 06:55 PM
Thank you, I appreciate that. It's hard lately. Atleast I have a good Psychiatrist though, that's all. GP is useless, just says speak to him @HopefulWarrior
06-05-2020 06:55 PM
06-05-2020 06:55 PM
@HopefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear your family ignored your troubles. That's very painful. No wonder you felt invalidated and had to fight to get the help you deserve.
Also, if you've found a good treatment team, it's natural you'd want to hold onto them. I hope you grow to feel more confident that you deserve the professional support and can come to accept your good days too.
07-05-2020 09:47 PM
07-05-2020 09:47 PM
@HopefulWarrior . Someone once said to be kind to myself. To me that means many things. I try to find joy in even the littlest things. The sun will always rise in the morning to a new day and if its a good day , embrace it. Your team will be there if you need them and if you are having good days thats great. I hope you have many more because i am sure you deserve those precious good days. Don't be too hard on yourself.
08-05-2020 06:44 PM
08-05-2020 06:44 PM
08-05-2020 07:07 PM
08-05-2020 07:07 PM
You have a good weekend too @HopefulWarrior . If you are lucky enough to get one of thoses big blue sky days take note of the beautiful contrast the green grey eucalyptus trees make against the blue sky. Always makes me smile. Thats one of the little things. They are free . Doesn't cost anything to enjoy it.
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