Lived Experience Forum

[TideisTurning]

Let's start with our first question for @SunnyFlower- Why might some find anger such a hard thing to talk about?  

@Lacey- @Patches59 @ProggyPanther feel free to chime in too if you have anything to contribute!

[SunnyFlower]

Why might some find anger such a hard thing to talk about?  

Talking about anger is a bit of a loaded subject.  

Many of us have been conditioned to believe that anger is BAD. Capital B, bad, or better still, all caps BAD.  

Funny how most of us took it as gospel to be believed. For many reasons. Because grown-ups sound like they know what they are talking about. Because it just seems natural – we see it in movies, read it in books – people who are angry get in trouble, go to jail, get fined, get scolded etc.  

But I am here to challenge this stigma. Yes, you heard it. Anger is not always BAD. As a matter of fact, it can be good, better still, helpful.  

[Patches59]

Anger is a very strong emotion and can be very confronting 

[TideisTurning]

@SunnyFlower, can you talk us through the ANGER acronym - what does it stand for? How do we use it? 

[SunnyFlower]

@SunnyFlower can you talk us through the ANGER acronym - what does it stand for? How do we use it? 

I am going to be brutally honest here, this is not a real acronym. I totally made it up 😊  

Appreciating anger can be difficult. On the best of days. But if you stop and think for a second “Why am I angry right now?” you might just be surprised. Appreciate or acknowledge the feeling of anger for what it might be telling you, the message it is sending. And then Negotiate a possible outlet, expression for it. Allow yourself to learn from this experience and Grow as a person. That just might feel Empowering. And finally, allow yourself space to Relax, because anger and it’s expression can be rather exhausting sometimes.  

[amber22]

For those of you wondering what Sasha's ANGER acronym stands for: 

A = Appreciate

N = Negotiate

G = Grow

E = Empower

R = Relax 

[TideisTurning]

Next question for @SunnyFlower; Why is it important to process anger? How could someone go about doing that? 

@Patches59 @Lacey- @ProggyPanther, we'd love to hear your ideas and experiences too if you have anything you feel comfortable sharing 😊

[SunnyFlower]

Why is it important to process anger? How could someone go about doing that?  

Anger is usually just the tip of the emotional iceberg (possible picture here?). Sometimes what is masked by anger can be deep sadness, frustration, loneliness. It is perfectly OK and natural to experience all of them, but sometimes, we feel like it might just be too much to sit with the sadness, for example, to let it all in, and instead – we become angry. Anger is easier, it is right there on the surface. Easily accessible.  

How can one express and process it in a healthy way? There can be many different ways and most importantly – it is OK to explore them. For example, sports are always a good way to release negative emotions, boxing, martial arts, running, axe throwing or even darts, bowling and even swimming sometimes, depending on your personal preferences and experience. I, for one, enjoy dancing and when I am angry it turns into more of kicking and screaming to the music that is playing, but I have learned to embrace making it my own process and not judging it.  

Another healthy way to process some of your anger can be writing about it. You can scream BOOORING at me right now, and you would be right. But hey, to each their own, right? For example, you can write something in aggressive font, huge letters, cross it all out, burn it, scrunch it, tear it up...  

For some of us it is painfully obvious when we are angry – our face gets red, our muscles tense, heart starts racing – in essence, we have a very physical response to anger. However, it might not always be this obvious. Some may experience moodiness and frustration, they may get quiet and unresponsive, shut off, stop communicating. Sometimes, we may not even know exactly what’s wrong, we just feel “off” somehow. All of it is OK. As long as you accept it without judgment. I know, easier said than done, right? But it is important that we try.  

[Patches59]

Important to process anger of it can grow and the feelings increase inside until gets to a point when things/s are said that can be destructive eg in a relationship 

[amber22]

Definitely! Processing our anger is very important so that it doesn't impact the bigger things in our lives. Good point @Patches59