🙋hi, hope you're doing okay.You've had a lot to deal with,are you getting much support?I grew up with a parent who I now am sure would've,& should've been diagnosed with BPD many years ago but that was back in the early '60s to '70s,I think Mental Health diagnoses & treatment has improved since then.I hope so, because it was pretty much the dark ages as far as MH issues were concerned.We(myself & 2 younger brothers) were subjected to frequent abuse of every kind except SA.It was a rotten way to live & spend childhood & early youth,I got out as soon as I could afford to support myself,my horse & my dog while still studying.You ARE stronger than you think, you need to protect your children & yourself from abuse, you've been living with it for 30 years.All us kids have had MH, relationship & substance abuse issues, living with an unwell relative,no matter how much you love each other can be soul-destroying.I hope that the appointment went well & that your husband will get help soon.And you don't deserve the abuse, no matter what form it takes,it's in no way your fault,he's very unwell.I really wish your entire family all the best, Warrior62 ☮️♥️