03-10-2019 02:13 AM
03-10-2019 02:13 AM
So I'm here because I m crying again . Been like this for last 3 days . I don't know how to stop. Didn't know who to talk to at 2am. I've tried to commit suicide twice and have been fighting these thoughts. I just saw my psychologist last week and was in a different head space then. I'm trying not to do this for my children but my life is mostly messed up. I don't think I m worth anything and this is reflected in my life now. I've never in my life been happy. I don't know what to do.
03-10-2019 03:03 AM
03-10-2019 03:03 AM
@Tiggar2 Hi Tiggar2 I can thoroughly recommend Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
1300 659 467. I have used there service a few times and if you contact them now you should be able to get through quite quickly.
Hoping your day is a little bit better for you. Take care peax
03-10-2019 04:03 AM
03-10-2019 04:03 AM
Find mental health care people who will work with you in a therapuetic way. Try and deflect the Suicidal thoughts. Dont let them win, they are not the whole picture. You are worth a decent life.
03-10-2019 06:52 AM
03-10-2019 06:52 AM
03-10-2019 11:30 AM
03-10-2019 11:30 AM
Dear Tiggar2
How old are your children? I have been like you are, in the past, and know how exhausting it is. Just to get out of bed is a major job. You need to concentrate on yourself right now, so if your children are not old enough to care for themselves, perhaps you should think about taking some time out. Perhaps your children could go to a family member or a friend for a week or so. This will free up some time for you to rest and care for yourself and most importantly to arrange daily visits to your psychologist and ask her/him to recommend a good book for you to read throughout the week, nothing too heavy. Writing also helps a lot. It's an age old healing technique that i use a lot. Visualisation techniques have a remarkable affect on our mood and beliefs. I wish i could lie you down and stroke your hair and talk you through something special. Perhaps you could ask your psychologist to put you through some visualization methods about self worth.
Oh Tiggar2 you need solid care and attention now. Are you on medications? If so how long is it since your doctor or psychiatrist did a review of your meds?
Please keep in touch with all of us... we are here for you!
I used to have the lowest possible self-esteem and literally detested everything about myself. One day i sat down and wrote a poem about myself... the good and not so good aspects about myself. Perhaps you could try to do something along these lines.
It's called the sum of me...
Come hither thine spirit
Bring forward thy soul
Let the sum of me
Live as a whole
It’s okay, don’t be afraid
Bring it all together
Don’t pick one piece
I want you to see it all
For the sum of me
Is worth so much more
Come forward all aspects of me
Come just as you are
No pretense shall you bring
Please also deliver the child within
Come hither thine spirit
Bring forward thy soul
Let the sum of me
Live as a whole
Fears and regrets galore
Old scars and new wounds let me see you
Anger and resentment are welcome too
I need to have all of you
Happiness and blissful memories
Love and tender qualities
You need to be at the fore
So, you can dance together for forever more
Come hither thine spirit
Bring forward thy soul
Let the sum of me
Live as a whole
Now all of you are here
The sum of me appears
What sheer beauty has been achieved
My mind and heart are so relieved
Take a look at me, everyone
I’m proud of it all
I may not be perfect
But now I stand tall
Come hither thine spirit
Bring forward thy soul
Let the sum of me
Live as a whole
The sum of me is wondrous
I can hardly believe it’s me
I consider myself a beauty
Whom I love with such intensity.
We look forward to hearing from you again Triggar2.
With love
CKS
03-10-2019 02:48 PM
03-10-2019 02:48 PM
Hi @Tiggar2
I am sorry that things seem so difficult for you at the moment. It's great that you've found your way to this supportive community in which you will find that many others have experienced thoughts of suicide. I can see that various members have already warmly welcomed you to the forums and shared something of their own perspectives on fighting those thoughts. I want to join them in welcoming you and am also going to send you an email in a moment to see how you are this morning. As @greenpea mentioned the Suicide Callback Service can be a handy resource if you need some professional support to keep yourself safe at any time, or Lifeline. Take care
Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat
Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling
07-10-2019 05:25 PM
07-10-2019 05:25 PM
@silverspoon Hello,thank you for your kind message on the forum. It helped to calm me down a bit. I have not been feeling well for a few days. May be started one week ago. I suffer schizoefffective disorder which is quite difficult to get under control. I work nearly full time which helps. I was engaged to marry twenty eight years ago. But my father made it to break apart. My father did a lot of other things to keep me tightly controlled. That trauma still lives with me. The one thing I find most difficult is that I am alone. I am fifty and single. I have been friends with a male friends for seven years. But it is not moving closer to marriage. I have dark thoughts. That I can’t make it to the next day. I feel not worthy, I want to punish my father by killing myself. I feel empty.
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