Ha @Former-Member - I didn't realise your post was spread over 2!
My friend has to travel over 1 hour to get to the "farm" where they live. She does this once a week and stays two days. In that time that she is there her brother is either working in his business or fussing over Mum and Dad. My friend does a huge weekly grocery shop for them and ensures that they have stock of everything they need, including the medications. She always cooks, but because things are the way they are she has to cook different meals for each person as they all don't like this, don't like that, can't eat this, can't eat that. She always overcaters and ensures that there is plenty of food in the fridge to carry them for a day or 2 after she leaves but her brother doesn't use it and throws it away or gives it to the dog. During the time she is there he blatently ignores her presence, or notices her contributions. This hurts her because she is being treated like she doesn't exist with little to no gratitude. Her brother appears to be deliberately hurting her e.g. if she buys a nightie for Mum he throws it out claiming it makes her itch, or she's too hot in it, or it's too tight or whatever. I suspect that there is some resentment there. Nevertheless, I believe it's a matter of time before his burnout starts manifesting in a physical way if he doesn't slow down and employ some self-care. What he is doing is not sustainable.
Janna ❤️