@Appleblossom thankyou so much. Your words are so empowering! It would be awesome if every specialist could take a leaf out of your book. (I admit I've finally been infected by their pattern of tearing people down)
I think I'll need to write up your suggestions and paste them around the house to remind myself to choose kindness in frustration Lol.
Trauma is indeed a key factor. I had just hoped that he would return to my beautiful boy once the horrid neighbours finally left. I fear he will never be the same.
To give you an idea.. We weren't getting sleep at night. At all. Ever. They wouldn't let us. As one example : they noticed how much he was affected by Harley Davidsons, so they went and bought one, had it modified to be even louder (I never thought that was possible) parked it right under his bedroom window and would revv the guts out of it, every day for hours.
They knew we were homeschooling, so would wait until we entered the schooling room and would start up the revving and loud swearing music and vehicle revving, no matter the time. The list goes on and on. They were relentless and there was nowhere to get away from the debilatating noise and bullish intent. Really awful time.
I am not sure if his brain has been permanently affected.
I will put up little notes and try to extend love instead of frustration. I know frustration is not working Lol