I've been having a lot of family issues lately. My siblings and my parents are all really tense and angry at each other and I'm just caught up in the middle and it feels as if I'm drowning in their problems. My siblings are "supposed" to move out but theres a lot of tension around the subject and now they're constantly fighting each other when theyre around, which is pretty rarely sometimes because sometimes they wont come home. It's driving me insane and I just can't cope with it because it feels as if they're lashing out at me for all the fights and stuff. One of my siblings keeps fighting me or just being really mean for no reason and
Im sorry, i know if i can put this into actual words but I feel so close to snapping. I cant stand all the fights and the pettiness and the comments and everything i really cant sit here and take it anymore. She keeps calling me names and just being mean and i dont mean to be soft or cry so much but its been going on for so long and everytime my parents just tell me to deal with it and they never fix the problem. Why am i always the one suffering at the actions of others. I keep trying so so hard to keep the peace or just defend them even when i know they dont deserve it but it just continues on and on and on. My head just always hurts I'm going insane from it. I feel like im disconnecting from everything and I cant lift myself out of this hole. I feel like a burden to my family and my friends because I'm so useless, I can't just deal with myself like a big girl, slap a big smile and go on my merry way. I feel like a lie. Somedays im just so distant i dont feel anything and then one little thing could trigger everything. I wish it would go away and solve itself but i know it wont. I cant wait until i can move out. I cant wait until i can finally get away from these people even though i know i dont have the strength to do that because i do love them. But i hate them so so much
Sorry theres not really a point to this, is there?