02-05-2020 05:11 PM
02-05-2020 05:11 PM
Hi. My name is Alex. I am very deppressed and feel lonely all the time. I'm 25 in a few days and I've never had a girlfriend. I've been on dating apps for a long time but I haven't really had any dates. I feel very unattractive all the time. Sometimes I just pray I die of a heart attack or something. I really don't want to live anymore. Nothing is interesting. I have no motivation to do even small things. I think everybody knows I'm a loat cause. Nothing helps. I keep going up doses on my antidepressant but it's not helping. I'm hoping to try transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy soon. It will probably use up all my savings. I know that I crave physical touch. I'm not sure how normal that is. Every day someone says something that makes me feel more deppressed. I actually had a coping mechanism but my brother cut that off. I've also felt very stigmatized. I'm thinking of sueing people that stigmatized me. At least it will feel like I'm standing up for myself. But I'm worried the whole process will make more depressed. I'm just not sure how much longer i can go in this world. I have been seeing therapists but i honestly think they just make me feel worse
02-05-2020 05:31 PM
02-05-2020 05:31 PM
Hello @Alex32redden
Welcome warmly to the SANE forums. I am the moderator this afternoon and have read you courageous post with some concern. Good on you for posting about your experiences so openly which I am sure the forum members will support you over.
I am needing to follow up with you about your current safety as your post suggests you may be at risk of hurting yourself. Are you safe at the moment Alex?
Please reach out for help to the 24/7 help lines if you need someone to talk to. And ring 000 if you need immediate help.
Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue1300 22 4636
Please look after yourself
Whitehawk
02-05-2020 05:50 PM
02-05-2020 05:50 PM
The help lines never help. Why would they care. They don't even know me. Nobody cares. People just avoid me all the time. I can never make any friends. I try really hard but there's juat no point anymore. This world is so hard. I never felt needs for anything when i was a kid. I wish i coukd go back to beung a kid. Im done with this stupid world. I hate this stupod country
02-05-2020 05:52 PM
02-05-2020 05:52 PM
That is a really difficult place to be @Alex32redden You are not alone here. I am going to tag in another one of oir members who may be able to relate to some of what you are going through.
@MDT tagging you here because I know you have similar concerns around the whole dating thing and thought you might have a unique insight to help @Alex32redden here - hope you don't mind buddy.
02-05-2020 06:16 PM
02-05-2020 06:16 PM
Hi @Alex32redden , am really sorry to hear how depressed and lonely you feel. I've had severe depression with SI (suicidal ideation) for long stretches before, and it's the thing that scares me most. It's probably not going to help right now, but you can come out of it, it is possible to build a much happier life. Please don't give up as things can get better.
Am worried that you might not be safe tonight. Please know that there are caring people on this forum who are here to support you. We are here to listen and sit with you in your pain.
I'm sorry your brother cut off your coping mechanism. And it is normal to need human touch. Do you have a counsellor - psychologist or psychiatrist?
Please be safe tonight, Alex.
02-05-2020 06:37 PM
02-05-2020 06:37 PM
No. I was with headspace. But they got rid of me. Everybody kbows im a lost cause so they just avoid me. I don't blame them anymore
02-05-2020 06:53 PM
02-05-2020 06:53 PM
02-05-2020 06:57 PM
02-05-2020 06:57 PM
02-05-2020 07:09 PM
02-05-2020 07:09 PM
@Alex32redden thanks for replying. Depression this bad is serious enough for a psychologist or psychiatrist. You can get 10 free appointments a year by getting your GP to write you a Mental Health Care Plan and referring you.
Your increase in tablets might take a while to kick in...it's good you're taking them. Also good that you've reached out for help here. Both of those are positive steps.
02-05-2020 07:15 PM
02-05-2020 07:15 PM
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