Hi all, I am writing on here to gain some perspective because my partner has been caring for me for the last 3 years or so while I have been having Intermitent Psychotic Episodes, and I would like to understand the position of someone watching a loved one suffer through a mental illness. I constantly feel overwhelmed with guilt and shame for the outcome of my episodes most often affecting him, our friends and any others around me. I usually beg to end our relationship or propose to leave and live elsewhere to manage my mental illness alone because I believe it would make things much easier on him in regards to making plans and living life. He seems conflicted often with this and I am having a very hard time understanding what is best to do in my situation. We are young, he is a lovely outgoing sociable person with dreams and goals of travelling and working in different areas of the world. In my condition I struggle to work regularly and be in highly social situations. I believe that i am holding him back while he says that he is happy to wait, I hate that he has to wait and i pressure myself much more because I know he is waiting for me to get better. I would love to hear some perspective of other carers and loved ones to fain some perspective that might help me come to terms with this situation. thank you