Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Hey @PeppyPatti  @Jynx ☺️🌺

sorry to hear it’s a bit of difficulty with your therapist💜🌺

Heres a little story to hopefully cheer you up… I may get into strife here - please feel free to let me know Jynx if I’m in trouble! ☺️

Well, I was granted 6 sessions - the first and last time I’ve successfully engaged a therapist despite trying for decades - and from session one, she would go nigh-nighs right there in front of me…yep. That’s code for asleep. Totally, and snoringly asleep asleep. 🤭

after a while, I kinda felt bad for her, so I used to sing a little lullaby as soon as she started literally nodding off, so she could really slide down in her chair and get a good nap for 45 mins or so

😇🙌🏻

When it was time…to wake her… (aka end of my session), I would try taking the lullaby from soft to a semi soft rock version, complete with thigh drums, but this wasn’t as effective as I hoped, so I started experimenting with wake up methods, and finally settled on the book drop from a decent height method, which would slowly rouse her from her deep and restful slumber 🙂🌺

I used to pretend that I was deep in recital of some significant life event (aka mills and boon from the waiting room), looking intently into my lap, as she woke up, and she would take a deep breath and say gently, well I think that’s enough for today - let’s pick it up next session. 
And, that was that, for 6 whole sessions 👏🏻👏🏻🤭

I stuck with it because I was hoping that if she got all her snooze out the way during my sessions, there may indeed be some really good focus and attentiveness for the clients that came after me 🙂🌺

these sessions were online, so I was thinking that maybe she thought I wouldn’t notice? I don’t really know.. to this day, it’s still one of the mysteries of the universe ☺️

[Jynx]

Oh my lawwwwd @Former-Member what a hectic series of events!! Also, what a seriously unprofessional scumbag therapist. Okay maybe that's harsh? But I just feel like she was taking advantage of you!! She surely knew she was falling asleep, but said nothing, took no responsibility, and took advantage of your people-pleasing (hope that's not too presumptuous of me to say, but based on your assessment of hoping it would improve the quality of other clients' sessions afterwards, it just reminds me of me, and I am a recovering people-pleaser haha) by letting you continue to attend and pay for sessions whilst she napped! 

I hope she's not still practicing! And hope you have found someone way better now who actually wants to put time and energy into the therapeutic relationship! Wow, what a farce!

[Shaz51]

hello @Jynx , @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member , @PeppyPatti , @Appleblossom 

@Healandlove , @Krishna , @Glisten , @Zoe7 , @Snowie 

ohh what a day 

thought we get 5 free sessions , but it does not look like it 

and also the MH team thinks Mr shaz has ASD

[Former-Member]

It was a serious breach of professional practice @Jynx  that’s for sure 🤭

I needed her to write me a report - I still haven’t used it because it was a bunch of generic warm air due to her having very thin notes hehe, so I had to keep going! 
and, the thing is, I’ve tried to see other therapists, but when I start to mention the trauma I would like to work through, they instruct me to stop, and terminate the therapeutic relationship on the first meeting because my experiences are ‘too traumatic’ to discuss in therapy. I’ve lost count of how many psychiatrists, psychologists, and others have told me that, and then told me to never come back. 
also, I am tall, and they pull the ‘youre of a threatening size so I don’t want to see you if you ever happen to get angry’ - that’s been smaller built female and male therapists; however, I’ve never shown any aggression to anyone - that’s not my style 💜🙂 I’m a pacifist ☺️

I do get quite a bit of discrimination, which then further marginalises my situation. 
people pleasing is definitely something I’ve been moulded into, based on what I’ve needed from people who set conditions…a lot. 
not to worry 🙂🌺

[Former-Member]

Really sorry to hear that @Shaz51 🌺

Did they give you guys a reason for the maybe not to having 5 free sessions? 

[Jynx]

You got an entire boatload of self-awareness @Former-Member it's definitely something to be admired 😊 I'm sorry that you've been stereotyped and stigmatised in this way, and it's a mark of your inner strength and empowerment that you can see it in a detached way, and not let it dictate your self-worth 💜

[Former-Member]

Thanks heaps @Jynx 🙂🌺💜

I very humbly appreciate it 🙂🌺

I try to remind myself that people in positions of powers’ problems in terms of their assumptions, projections, and internal biases don’t belong to me 🙌🏻☺️

And the other thing I try to remember is to carefully choose my battles: there’s a lot more to be said for walking away even when it may not seem the prima facie thing to do.. it can be a strong message, can be a method of moving on, and it can change power dynamics in unexpected ways when people expect a battle and it does not eventuate - especially when other methods of advocacy are used that bypass them and focus on systemic change that will eventually influence their practice 🙂

[Jynx]

Ohhh ho ho ho! I like you @Former-Member, you're one smart cookie. I remember when I was a kid, my older sister was using the computer and I really wanted to use it. She wouldn't budge. I kept pestering her and got more and more dysregulated until eventually I was screaming, crying, and ended up storming off. She was kind enough to come check on me and asked why I was so upset. I told her that I'd also been dealing with bullies at school (although unbeknownst to me at the time, I'd say my ADHD emotional dysregulation patterns were a big part of it too lol). Anyway, she told me that what had just transpired was a great example of an effective tactic for dealing with bullies - they wanted to get a rise out of me, wanted me to fight back. So by ignoring them instead, they'd be the ones feeling frustrated and getting more and more upset rather than me. An important lesson! 

I was just talking about this on another thread too - it's been a big theme of my growth: Don't take it personally. Realising that nothing that anyone else does is actually about me, and is in fact a reflection of them, their context, and their values, was such a game changer. I'm glad you have learned this lesson too! And you're so right about it being a fantastic tool for systemic change as well! 

I'm logging off soon, so I'llsay goodnight, but thanks so much for sharing! May your evening be restful hun, chat again soon 💜

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member Thanks for sharing your experience with Diverticular disease.

Yes that & Irritable Bowel Syndrome are definitely unfriendly.

Work has not been going well, these past few days.

Mainly I'm exhausted, with too little recovery time.

So have not had any time or energy to post on Forums unfortunately.

Ah yes thanks for reminding me of Nestles Resource drinking.

I haven't had that in about 6 years, yet I found it really good.

I have no idea where to get it from.

Yes lack of absorption of nutrients is a major problem - Mainly because my food often passes through me far too fast, for enough to be absorbed.

I hope you are well & okay.

Adge

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 , I'm sorry to hear the session didn't go as well as hoped! The cost of mental health is really outrageous.  It is so important though and I wish there was more funding to help. 

Will Mr Shaz go ahead with therapy? ASD? Does this explain a lot of what you have observed,  experienced as a support person @Shaz51 ? How does Mr Shaz and yourself feel about the diagnosis?

I send you both virtual hugs and hope that Mr Shaz can still get the help he needs.

Thinking of you both 🫂❤️