19-01-2019 01:07 PM
19-01-2019 01:07 PM
I find myself in this all or nothing stage once again. I thought i was just in a good phase. I felt in control of my life. My diet. Being mindful of what I put in my body, good nutritious food. Swapping the chocolate for berries and yoghurt, oh sooo good! Exercise started at the gym, and swimming for my mental health and my body. Very positive attitude. Setting firm boundries with toxic people in my life. Hmmmmmm Now the black cloud descends. Nothing.cant get off the bed. I want to sleep all the time, block out the world. So was it too much too quickly? I thought i took those steps over a period of time. Planning when i would go to the gym, when i would go swimming, buying the fruit and youghurt (not the chocolate) . It all came together at the begining of the week. Three days later its all gone. Everything seems so overwhelming. Is this just the nature of complex mental illness? I shouldnt be surprised, ive somewhat been here many times before. It is oh so frustrating.
Is aceptance the key. To accept each day as it is.Not overthinking it. Accept that TODAY is not one of my better days.
Sometimes it all feels so Unacceptable. I hate the way i am. Hate the way i look. I hate the way I feel.
Ive had this complex illness since the age of fourteen. Now i am sixty three. Yes i get very tired of the ongoing struggle. Something keeps me going. But at the same time Ifind there is this weariness of spirit. Weariness of body as things start going wrong with my physical health. I dont have the same stamina that i use to have.
I guess what keeps me going is my family. Its important for me to be there for them. That can be very draining though at times.
I wonder where does that all or nothing stem from? It keeps comming back to bite me.
Now i want to compulsively eat. Stuff myself silly. Fill the void. A little voice in my head says no ride the wave, this will pass. If you have to eat go for the berries, less damage. Feeling fat frumpy, old. The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other.
How do others cope with these mood swings?
19-01-2019 02:05 PM
19-01-2019 02:05 PM
Hi @Chris
Please don't give up as taking away addictive food will impact on brain chemicals and cause low moods. It's a natural process you're experiencing ok. NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!
Getting through this phase is the key. Each time you feel like bingeing, take a deep breath and tell yourself it's your brain craving sugar, and try to keep busy. This helps with burning energy too. It takes a few weeks to settle so being self aware of cravings will take you far. It's worth the unpleasantness I can assure you.
Here for you...
Hope
19-01-2019 02:28 PM
19-01-2019 02:28 PM
Oh @Chris I can relate! The weariness.
I also feel fat, old frumpy, but at least not all the time.
It sounds like these feelings also come and go for you too.
Listen to the little voice telling you to ride the waves.
You are a survivor! Think about some of the qualities that have got you this far.
Thinking of you.
19-01-2019 03:17 PM
19-01-2019 03:17 PM
Eckhart Tolle has an article on his website called finding balance.
If your interested have a look. It talks about presence and going through the ups and downs.
Hope you go well 🙂
19-01-2019 03:50 PM
19-01-2019 03:50 PM
Thank you all for your support.
Stress=carb/sugar cravings
Stress, not alot i can do about a current situation.
Ill have a look at that article, thanks
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