11-08-2016 10:58 PM
11-08-2016 10:58 PM
12-08-2016 04:17 PM
12-08-2016 04:17 PM
12-08-2016 06:40 PM
12-08-2016 06:40 PM
Hi @deek,
Sounds like it's been quite to the roller coster for you. I echoe what @pip said - its important that your hubby perseveres through the meds. Though, I'm gathering that you've had these conversations with your hubby over the last few years and have had the same result. Has he told you what he doesn't like about them? Its important that you lets the docs know about any side-effects that he's experiencing so they can adjust/change his meds.
Apart from the issue of him staying on his meds, it seems this is taking its toll on you, and your family, in particular, your son. I don't think you're being selfish at all. I think you're setting boundaries to keep you and your son safe and well, as well as encouraging your hubby to stay well. From what you've written, it seems like you're willing to be around your husband when he's actively addressing his MI, but if he's not, then you're not wanting to expose your son to his behaviour. There's nothing wrong with this.
Ten years is a long time to being going through this. How have you managed the stress that comes along with this? I hope you are taking some time out to care for you to as I imagine having a three year old and an unwell husbanding would be tiring.
Take care,
CherryBomb
13-08-2016 12:40 PM
13-08-2016 12:40 PM
13-08-2016 03:48 PM
13-08-2016 03:48 PM
27-08-2016 08:43 PM
27-08-2016 08:43 PM
I just wanted to reach out and say I know exactly how you feel......I have children and a husband with schizophrenia and bipolar who pretty much sounds like your husband. He too is always unable to hold jobs and pretty much thinks along the same lines as yours in regards to meds etc. Our whole family suffer and I know how hard it is to have to be the one to hold it all together. Hugs.
29-08-2016 09:53 PM
29-08-2016 09:53 PM
30-08-2016 01:20 PM
30-08-2016 01:20 PM
Hmm, do I regret staying......
There are days when it feels like hell will never cease and I do lean toward the feeling of regret. I regret what my children have seen or heard, regrets for a peaceful life I've lost, regrets of bothering in the first place and it is hard to get past the feelings and thoughts of 'I don't deserve this' or 'I can just walk away and never look back stopping the hell right now, why am I still here' BUT for some reason I keep going and push those aside. Just when I find things too hard to bare something will shine some light - we'll have a good day, he'll respond to his meds etc and I guess that keeps me hanging on.
But to be honest. yes, somewhere under all my hope and drive to keep going, somewhere under my exhaustion and my sadness there is a buried regret of staying, I think I'd be lying to say otherwise but I also know that while there is that hidden under everything there is also a lot of good hidden in spots too and that right now is slowly tipping the scale in the favour of staying.
Regret is a heavy feeling and usually one that also comes with guilt and sadness so please be easy on yourself....it's still a deep learning curve for me but I'm learning it is okay to feel/acknowledge the bad parts too.
30-08-2016 06:32 PM
30-08-2016 06:32 PM
30-08-2016 06:49 PM
30-08-2016 06:49 PM
I understand where you are right now. Do you have much family or friemd support around you?
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