Lived Experience Forum

[Meowmy]

@Appleblossom Hope you have a nice evening. Be kind to yourself and nurture. Take care.

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Meowmy @greenpea 

I had met them both before.  It helps to build vollie culture as well as generally build bridges instead of walls... not sure why so delicato, it was a good day.

Maybe feeling vulnerable about the recent murder in Parkville Melbourne (2nd in a year).  Its an area I have walked a lot and my daughter still walks there.  I dont like to be a fear mongerer ... just so sad ... and then we worry society is going downhill.

[Adge]

@greenpea

[Adge]

@greenpea

[Appleblossom]

Actually processing today more ... think my fragile fragmented feeling is due to the bulldozer lady ... it is very visceral and not merely my mood or my worry.  It is due to a recent mini clash .... means be wary of that "lady" in future.  She was bossing around the paid staff, when she was a vollie only on her first shift.   I gave her plenty of warm welcome and intelligence moments but she could stop herself from being rude and bignoting self re CEO ... etc ...maybe having difficulty adjusting to retirement ...she was telling him his professors were wrong etc .... He was young and we managed her good humouredly,

but ....honestly ... at that age

I am so tired of internalising other people's rudeness. 

My Recovery means I dont do that anymore.  

[Angels333]

Hi All

I'm  sorry but I need help.

My daughter 16yo had a psychologist appointment today at the clinic attached to the hospital.   So I met my husband and we waited for the hour for the appointment.   We were told that she is SHing.   I SH so often and ha have so many scars.   It is all my fault.    I can't even be there to comfort her as I am stuck here.   The stupid thing is I feel suicidal and like SH when I know I'm the cause of her problems.   It's a learned behavior. 

What can I do?   I spoke to the nurse and she said just stop SH but it's not that easy.

I'm so sad 

[Appleblossom]

@Angels333 

I am very sorry to hear about your daughter's difficulties. 

Somehow I do not believe it is all your fault.

The study of Family Dynamics is in early stages.  One day I hope they will be able to support families better without scapegoating, but fine tuning the dynamic.

WIsh I could help more.  I managed to stop sh mostly, to I still struggle.

Find the Caring angel for you, not just the family,

[Angels333]

Thanks @Appleblossom it was such devastating news. Makes me feel like a bad mother 😭 particularly when I feel like I can't stop SH myself.    

Anyway thanks for the reply @Appleblossom xx

[Appleblossom]

It is a difficult to turn around. @Angels333  I only managed partly, but significantly. In that it has happened rarely in my house that I have now lived in for 17 years.  My low self esteem and sense of self comes out in less extreme ways, still an outlet, but it is a lot better.

I think it is terrible that self harm is managed so poorly in a hospital ward dedicated to treatment, in this day and age. I hope someone there gives you some hope.

I am still triggered myself, which one can tell cos of the hour I am posting, but improving the system is one thing that gives meaning to life.  

The pressure of my siblings leaned heavily on me before I started SH, but I never blamed them, more was upset about the difficulties they faced.

Its hard with close intertwined relationships, but there can always be love too.

Kindness,

[greenpea]

@Appleblossom  Oh  Appleblossom it has always been thus (I remember my mother always warning me when I was young) women should not walk in parks alone. When I walk it is around passing cars for 99% of it there is one part which bothers me but there is no other way around it. It is open though and I can see cars and is pretty well lit so I am like oh well .... what really makes me sad about this recent one is the fact that both of them have and had a mi. It is all so sad.