Lived Experience Forum

[LostAngel]

the last time we talked I told you the truth about my worries and why I wasnt seeing you even though I so badly wanted to see you,I said to you that I dont want to lose you and you said No I wouldnt loose you ,you wanted to see me that night as much as I wanted and still want to see you,you said we could just chill together and for me to just come,Im thinking about how you said I wouldnt lose you ,I geuss Im so scared to love you yet at the same time so scared to lose you now that we found eachother,I know youve been with other girls and that doesnt phase me cause you told me a bit about your previous relationships,I want to be with you even though Ive seen your flaws and youve seen mine too,I want to be with you,I dont want to lose you,my own fears get in the way ,but I cant let my fears get in the way,Yes I need to be carefull but not overun by fear so much that I dont act on my wants and needs,I want to be with you,even though weve had our disagreements even when where both talking honestly to eachother about both our issues,even when you drunk call me,I love talking to you on the phone,the sound of your voice,I hope we meet soon,Im sorry we havnt met sooner its seems everything but timing and our individual personal issues are stopping us from being together,its like other things are trying to stop us from being together,but I like you and you keep coming back to me and play things cool so I know you like me too,you tell me not to worry or stress and when Im upset you distract me from being upset and when your upset I love to listen to every word you need to say in that momment ,I love hearing you vent your frustrations and trust me with your secrets ,we pick each other up when we fall,we talk by distance ,I wish so much to be with you soon so that we can be together in person and see where things go,beieve me your smarter than you think you are you mean alot to me ,just need to be with you lets hope we meet soon.your a good guy despite everything youve been through your a good guy to me 

[Former-Member]

So over feeling this way

[formaggio]

Hey @Former-Member I have just sent you an email to check in.

formaggio

[Former-Member]

Hi @formaggio, 

We are safe babydragon retreated again and her partner is near by she's just having a hard time and there is no professional help here for us

[LostAngel]

had a great day today but may have pushed myself to hard to be back to normal again as tonight Im feeling mentally not ok again its in terms of feeling anxcious,worked up,worried thoughts,I tried hard today and put somewhat a brave face on to make things seem normal now I find Im putting anxiety on myself again,councilling appointment is thankfully not too far away but yeh I tried today to make myself go on as normal for a bit ,still working on an emotional foundation to keep myself grounded 

[LostAngel]

Love doesnt Last for those who need it,Love doesnt stay for those who want it,been sitting here for a bit thinking something I shouldnt think and wondering should I try to send you a message or have you forgotten what we had already? back to being alone

[LostAngel]

I dont know If Ill be married one day ,I feel as if Ive lost you before I found you,Ive left you waiting too long,Ive kept you waiting too long too long for us to meet,I never should have kept you waiting ,when I do want to be with you and yet I didnt show up to see you when you needed me and when we wanted to meet Im sorry ,Sorry for what Ive put you through.

[LostAngel]

lost Angel needs to calm down,sit,rest breathe,chillout,stop stressing,take a break,not overthink,not feel bad,not feel hurt or overly responsible but responsible enough ,sense of self needs to improove so that I can remember how to be kind again,rest again,treat self and others with respect again,but of course everything Lost Angel wants takes time and some things will take more time than others being so negative needs to stop it drives lost angel and those around her angry ,upset but somehow some people still stay despite their hurt feelings and I geuss lost angel needs to stay for herself too and stay for those who stay with her,lost angel you need to believe in yourself again, you need to relax anxiety and depression need to stop,fear needs to stop and be replaced with kindess and love,kind good thoughts no wonder you have felt lost you need to find the good and cling to the good not cling to the bad cause the good things and good thoughts and good people help if only youd let all the good things help so then you can be calm and settled and relaxed,why let the negative side win what does it do but hurt everything? let the good side win ,let Love win

[LostAngel]

Just a self aware thought, I learn when I decide to learn as I can be very stubborn about learning what I mean is people can tell me the truth or what I should learn or understand but its better when I decide to learn myself then have time and space to learn without the extra distraction or expectaions of others,just a self observation if people keep at you with what they see or think they see you need to learn then that doesnt exactly help,no reflection on anyone on forums just a self aware thought and observation of self ,how I feel about learning and how I learn in general

[LostAngel]

today I ended up feeling very frustrated and just feeling over things,like really over things mainly my negative side of emotions,and negative thoughts unfortunetly I did think today that I wanted to shut down emotionally more or less, internal self critic ect thoughts such as wanting to give up on myself,this was while driving around town trying to find a place to park to do easter shopping when all I wanted to do was stay at home but of course the shops are shut tomorow so had to go out today even though didnt feel like it also cause some of my personal emotional issues where dawning on my conceince,things to do with my recent behaviour and things like that,maybe a bit of guilt ect